Stranger

The emotions and dilemmas that stem from miscommunications between people have become the sources of inspiration for my paintings since I immigrated to the United States. Consequently, I have always found myself between two worlds: the world to which I formerly belonged, and the world to which I do not, or the world that I left and the world that I am challenged to meet. As a result I endeavor to juxtapose two opposite elements in the picture plane in my artwork. Ironically, though I successfully connect two invented worlds in my paintings, in real life I fail to do so. I fail not because I cannot adapt to my surroundings, but because who I was and who I would like to be are always at ends with each other. Thus, painting has become a continuous acknowledgement of my tumultuous existence between two worlds. It is a constant reminder of my current state of limbo, one in which I toil and struggle to find a way out. Yet strangely, I find myself needing to paint, just as I need to breath, for it not only identifies who I am, but allows me to express my trials and passions in life as well.

For me, painting is the communicative device that I use to express my ideas about opposing worlds and elements. I invite the viewers to look at the illusion of physically disconnected worlds so that they can connect in various ways and find their own place between two different worlds. In order to exaggerate the difference between conflicting themes, I use contrasts of color and space. The composition of my paintings, which utilize a contrast between space and an object, has been influenced by the Oriental paintings that emphasize the beauty of emptiness. I draw attention to the space so that the peculiar atmosphere separates and interacts with an ordinary object. This unusual placement of subjects in my painting is my way of using “depaysement,” and I feel it portrays my situation in the United States as a stranger. Just as the body continually refuses a foreign substance, I feel as though I am rejected in this society because of numerous cultural differences. Yet the tension and anxiety that come from the rejection of myself from both worlds result in the many brush marks on the border of two elements in my paintings. The use of brush marks is also my attempt to connect the two worlds as an artist as well. The desire to belong to one world or the other is revealed in my paintings as a physical evidence of my struggles. Using my paintings to find my place as a stranger and communicate my ideas with viewers will always be my challenge as an artist.